In psychological studies this is called self-concept. This is the way in which we see ourselves and is composed of four interrelated self-perceptions; the perceived self, the ideal self, one's self esteem, and a set of social identities. These elements all play a role in directing, energising and organising our behavior.
The Perceived Self: This is the way in which we perceive our individual attributes of traits, competencies and values. Traits are our relatively permanent patterns of behavior, these become labels in which we use to describe ourselves, such as; lazy, dependable, ambitious and conservative we use these to describe our essential character. Competencies are the perceptions of what skills, abilities, talents and knowledge we possess; "I am good at making friends", "I am stupid" or "I'm a good singer". Values are concepts and beliefs about desirable end states or behaviors that we see as important in specific situations, and which guide selection or evaluation of behavior or events. Such as a belief that money is more important then happiness, or that you value your health and well-being. These values will guide the ways in which you behave and the choices you make in your own life. Your level of self-perception refers to the degree to which you perceive your attribute level. This deals with the issue of how you see yourself, whether or not you how high or low self-esteem in regard to these.
The Ideal Self: This is the set of traits, competencies and values that we would like to possess. These are the things we feel if we had we would be ideal. "If I was skinnier I'd be happy", "I'd get the job if I was smarter", "Men would give me more attention if my boobs were bigger." This is the picture of our perfect selves that we have in our head. This can sometimes be a positive thing, that aids in motivating us to better ourselves. Although it can also be negative when we set unattainable standards for ourselves. Some people even place an ideal standard in other people, such as a friend, a celebrity or complete strangers. They idolise these people, and believe their lives would be perfect if they would just be like them.
Social Identities: This is the process by which we classify ourselves and others into different social categories, such as "Women", "Nerds" or "Successful". This classification process serves the function of segmenting and ordering the social environment and enabling individuals to locate or define themselves within that social environment. Social identification provides a partial answer to the question, "Who am I?" using the aspects of our self-concept that derive from the social category to which we believe we belong. This is often when we perceive ourselves to be better or not as good as others. This is often where people become self-conscious as they are putting themselves and others into social stereotypes, and depending on the way they see themselves, this effects how highly they rate themselves in comparison to others.
So after reading about how we construct our self-concept, how healthy is yours? Are you able to find traits, competencies and values within yourself that are positive, or do you continually cut yourself down? Have you created an unattainable ideal self or placed all of your ideals into one person? Do you continually compare yourself to others and place yourself into negative categories?
Your self-concept affects the way you make choices in your life, how you feel about yourself and also how you project yourself to others. I'm sure everyone could find at least 10 things that they can be positive about, in regard to themselves. Remind yourself of these things everyday! Poor self-esteem can be detrimental to one's happiness, as well as the perception that you have no control over making changes to your thinking. Of course you do! People have almost an obsession with comparing themselves to others. Continually we place judgement on other people, and then try to size ourselves up in comparison.
Be yourself. We are all individual and different, and no-one truly has a 'perfect' life. Find the things you love about yourself, and project these out on to the world. The more positively you see yourself, will effect your confidence in making positive decisions, choices and actions in your life. Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone and challenge these negative self-perceptions. Have the confidence to live your life how you want!
Feedback from others is an integral part of how we build our self-esteem. If people or one person in particular continually tells you something about yourself, you tend to believe it's true. This is often the effect of bullying. If you're constantly told you're not good enough or you're beliefs are stupid, you tend to start believing these things about yourself. Again, people seem to think that they are the victim in this situation and that they have no control over changing the outcomes. Yet you do. Be strong and believe in all of the things that are positive about yourself. Most importantly surround yourself with positive people who love and support you! Lately with my involvement in my current life choices and positive projection of myself I have had a lot of positive feedback, although at the same time I have also had negative! Some people have chosen to try and cut me down with insults or putting a negative or sarcastic spin on my endeavors. Although this was expected, and I don't allow these comments to get to me. I have high self-esteem and a positive concept of my self. I am aware of my strengths, accept my flaws and I have the ability to look at all of the positives in my life and the supportive people I have chosen to surround myself with. This shows me that these negative people are only trying to make themselves feel better about themselves by trying to make me feel bad about myself, and I don't need them in my life. "People who are too weak to follow their own dreams will usually just try to discourage yours." Although they will never succeed! I would never let them. There will always be people in life like this, it's your own ability to shrug it off and know that you're an amazing individual no matter what, and that you have many people who love you just the way you are.
